PART 3C: THE SORBET

Like many delicious and beautiful things culinary, sorbet hails from France. While they’re often served as standalone desserts, traditionally sorbets were served twice during a coursed meal. Ranging diversely in colours (e.g. reds, greens, yellows) and flavour profiles (e.g. tart, fruity, sweet) sorbets are not only dynamic but act as the perfect conduits to introduce or signal something different. As a matter of fact, the very purpose of a sorbet is to cleanse and balance the palate. Welcome to The Sorbet: The Other Side & Aftermath of Reckoning.

Who am I? What is it all for? Does it matter? Do I matter? Whether you believe humans can create purpose and meaning (existentialism) or that life has no meaning in and of itself (nihilism), at some or several points in your lifetime you’ll likely grapple with questions of identity. Although we’re shaped by multiple factors (e.g. sex, gender, ethnicity, religion, profession, society etc), we can also change over time (childhood to adulthood, traumatic events, moving countries or jobs etc). This is why the concept of personal identity is complex and fluid. At its core, personal identity is how you define yourself…the things you believe, make you, you. Humans are evolutionarily wired to seek comfort and familiarity. From the ways we socialize (e.g. similar social circles, affiliations, clubs etc), to the ways we operate (e.g. modern tech, outsourcing, routine etc) we’re constantly invested in making life easier, more convenient, and more palatable. It’s why we often steer away from reckoning…especially when it comes to fundamentals and our core existence. Finding and reinventing one’s self isn’t just hard work, it’s our life’s work. It’s why a personal identity crisis is so destabilizing…it forces you to question who you are, why you are, and if it’s serving you.

After transitioning from startup to startup, I’d finally reached a place of stability. Somewhere where I enjoyed the work, the culture, the people, the challenge, and where the potential to grow and build was tangible. My identity was shaped deeply by the work I did, my contributions towards it, and who I was as a result of it. Who was I? I was the Academy - the person who cared deeply about worker wellness and performance, the vocal and democratic one, the one motivated by results, the high-performer. Even outside, my identity was consumed by work. I was constantly busy, worked overtime often, cancelled plans frequently, was driven by results, and was a strong supporter of equity and the underdog. It’s not just what I did, it was how I identified and how others saw me.

The reckoning period was sudden, dramatic and harsh. I virtually lost my sense of self overnight. I wasn’t ready to confront the truth, let alone explore if my identity was still serving me. Having a thousand things to do during the hibernation period was the perfect distraction…a justified reason to tackle the immediate and an equally justified reason to hide from a crisis of self. But trauma has a twisted way of resurfacing…1 step forward sometimes feels like 5 steps back. And as we’ve previously established, focusing solely on what went wrong is pretty harmful when trying to move past it. Survival Mode. Fight Mode. Crisis Mode. We’d been deeply in all of them for what felt like an eternity. By the time we’d gotten to the “end” of the road and only 3 of us remained, the depletion, fatigue, and numbness of combat had finally set in…like a brick plopped into quicksand. I could no longer hide from reality. I needed real space and real-time to process, to grieve and to mull over — individually first, then collectively. There was no structure to my method…at least not first. Some days I just slept in and did nothing. Other days I went on walks or runs praying for a revelation. On other days I thought deeply, journaled endlessly, and vision-mapped until my head hurt. Minutes felt like hours, hours like days, and days like months. The conclusion was always the same — I wasn’t ready to move on or past…at least not like this. I’d been robbed. I knew I had to face myself plainly. When I did, I at least wanted to do so having written my version of some ending…

One of the greatest gifts that came out of the wind-down process was having my colleague turned thought-partner to walk, question, contemplate and resolve with. It wasn’t just having a voice of reason and objectivity, but gaining a trusted ally that was so meaningful. Though we had very similar values, we rationalized and executed in very different ways. Working through intense periods allowed us to observe and learn from one another. We assimilated to each other’s strengths and weaknesses, found effective ways to balance each other out, and compensated when and where needed. Ultimately, deep appreciation and respect founded how we related and worked. When it came down to collective post-hibernation processing, we leaned heavily on each other. We had lengthy phone calls, many coffee and lunch dates, and even a getaway retreat to recenter, reconnect and brainstorm. Sometimes it was about the business, other times about our partnership, and other times just to check in on a personal level. The outcomes of each conversation were clear. We had a deep desire to explore avenues for continuity. Despite being on the same page, it took us an additional 2 months to align further on probable options. It was a complicated and lengthy process. For starters, we were still in the thick of COVID-19 with all the uncertainty and financial instability therein. Secondly, our CEO was the only remaining active executive. Having to manage the expectations of the board, business partners, and stakeholders, while also trying to secure bridge financing from our investors meant serious limitations in time, capacity and holistic support. On top of that, our business model was complex and capital-intensive, and our top talent had already transitioned to other companies. Such challenges greatly decreased the probability of gaining financial support from any source (venture capital, donor funding etc). Yet, we persisted. We continued to speak to advisors, other founders, and other investors to find alternative pathways. We also started to determine the feasibility of establishing a Lynk off-shoot with the hopes that a former Lynk SMT or TL would be interested. Each pathway led to a dead-end. Bridge financing was a no-go. Appetite for offshoot was a no-go. External investment was a no-go. As pathways for continuity dwindled, so did my motivation and ability to re-establish my value and worth. I was never an equity partner at Lynk. I was never an executive or director either. Something about the legal and administrative process of closure stirred up deep feelings of failure. Sure, I was in a management position and felt a sense of duty. Sure, I bought deeply into the mission. Sure, we’d done a lot of impactful work. Sure, there was still more to do. But there was more to it…dissociating myself and my value for my work didn’t bode well. I convinced myself that my value was only intact if business continuity was actualized. So I continued to explore, reframe, consult, and find reasons to remain relevant. Doing without understanding why is like looking at yourself in the mirror then walking away and instantly forgetting what you look like. I was doing everything, but taking very little time to sit and ask why and what for. At my core, I still wasn’t ready. I couldn’t summon the courage or headspace to grapple with my self-worth. I didn’t know an identity outside of work. Without it, I was and would be nothing. I refused to accept this. Back to the drawing board…

Stubborn. Headstrong. Persistent. All words that have been used to describe me, and that I’ve used to describe myself. Being fixated on making it work isn’t always a good thing…especially if you lose yourself in the process. However, obstinate continuance finds merit where vision is shared. During our exploration period for business continuity, a partner at Enza Capital (a later-stage investor at Lynk) continued to hold space for us to not just think strategically, but affirm that the work we’d done mattered and had legs. It’s because of these efforts that in April 2021, we were introduced to Eden Life Inc. a company disrupting the service delivery space in Lagos and looking to 10X the quality of life for Africans across the continent. Similar visions, similar sectors, similar offerings, and slightly different operating procedures. It made a lot of sense on paper and in practice. We understood the market and the geography. We had the connections and know-how. We’d exhausted all options to make it work without financing. They’d successfully established a business in Nigeria. They’d tested and tried their model. They had the funding. They were ready to expand into a new geography. Conflict of interest zero, investor approved. The cherry on the top was that Eden was conceptualized, led and built by African founders (born and raised) for Africans. Just like that, my motivation was re-injected. We had roots for legacy. I’d be able to re-establish my value and worth.

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What does it mean to be human? To build community? To share? To grow? To enrich. Just as personal identity is complex and fluid, questions about legacy often put into perspective who we are, the life we desire to lead, and how we want to impact the world. At its core, legacy is about life and living. It's about taking stock of what you’ve done in the past, what you’re doing now, and what you still hope to do…The most powerful thing about legacy is building something bigger and greater than yourself that will continue to benefit others well after. Buying into a company’s vision (what they aspire to be), is exactly that...opting into its legacy. Most sorbet recipes consist of very basic ingredients - fruit, sugar, salt, and lime. The secret to a good sorbet isn’t just the simplicity and freshness of the ingredients, but also the ratios and the process. We’d been here before. We knew the market. We knew the customers. We knew the service providers. The core units were the same. But if Eden was to succeed we needed to not only be honest about our experiences and failures but be vocal about what needed to be done differently as a result. Stepping stones can only be leveraged if they're founded well. Our legacy quite literally depended on it.

Who I am continues to change over time. Although I have a stronger sense now, I am still very much in exploration mode. I am still the thing that I believed I was, but I am also much more. Having the answers isn’t the goal, it’s applying the lessons to reinvent yourself. Through a period of forceful questioning, I was able to find the courage to start assessing more meaningfully. What’s important to me? How do I want to be remembered? How can I support you actively or passively? Do my character and values still hold outside of work? I know myself better because of going through versus around. Like an amuse bouche, a sorbet serves a similar purpose - to cleanse and reset the pallet. Though my purpose has been clear to me for some time, a crisis of self causes me to stop, question, doubt, reaffirm and adjust accordingly. Having others who poured in and believed in a similar vision of continuity helped me not only assert three important things; i) my work mattered; ii) I was on the right path; iii) I had the power and knowledge to lead the process.