PART 2C: LE FROMAGE

I discovered how much I loved cheese when I was an undergrad living in Wisconsin, USA. Up until then, I’d never given much thought to cheese outside of the confines of sandwiches, pizza, and pasta. It felt like a whole new world was unlocked where varieties stretched from stringy, to soft, to uncooked, to veined and where cheese could be sweet, sharp, spicy, pungent or even mild! I liked cheese before then but became obsessive as I continued to explore. It wasn’t just the varieties that were new, but also the vessels through which cheese could be manipulated, integrated and infused…rice, bread, potatoes, vegetables, fruits, desserts, you name it…cheese could be the star, the accompaniment, the enhancer, or the supplement.

French people take their cheese very seriously! The quality and authenticity of ingredients, the fermentation and maturation processes, the storage, the use…it’s about producing the best. They take cheese so seriously that they have an entire course dedicated to it — Le Fromage. Can you imagine? The sheer indulgence and delight! The best description I’ve found explains the course as “an interlude between the main and the dessert…a perfect excuse to encourage guests to stay around the table…for another bottle of wine”. I like to think of Le Fromage as decadency at its finest. It’s a reminder to savour the fine things while also acknowledging the richness and simplicity.

Not all cheeses are made equal…and depending on your level of fanaticism, anything that’s not kosher is precedence for battle — case and point the Great Cheese War of 1935, the Gruyère Wars (18th - 21st century). Even with so many varieties to choose from, cheese isn’t everyone’s forte. For those that aren’t a fan, to begin with, or worse, are lactose intolerant (sorry for your loss), being subjected to Le Fromage can be a stomach-churning, mouldy or funky affair. This blog is about the stomach churns that are induced when you’re struggling to digest the challenges of being in charge.

As established in previous blogs, many individuals come into managerial roles because they’re great at what they do, and not necessarily because they have comparable or demonstrated capacity to manage. Managing people is a different skill altogether…it takes so many elements — time, experience, training, humility, steadfastness, openness, patience, and a collaborative spirit, just to name a few. Like many of my experiences in the startup space, my entry into management was one of baptism by fire. It wasn’t a conversation point or an ask. In hindsight, I know my managers must have been more intentional about assessing my capacity (e.g. giving me smaller projects and tasks that required me to lead, observing how I collaborated with others, etc), but at the time, it felt like I had no choice in the matter. My first experience managing a team directly was…interesting. One particular project comes to mind — a donor-funded project in Kakuma & Dadaab to equip refugees with entrepreneurial and creative skills. The project entailed managing 7 different stakeholders, overseeing project deliverables, and developing M&E reports. All very big tasks, all scary as hell at the time. When you’re young, hungry and new to a space, you often worry about perception and even more about reception…will people create time and space for you when they don’t know you from Shiku, Atieno or Chebet (Tom, Dick or Harry)? The Kakuma-Dadaab project was especially intimating because; i) I needed to manage people older and far more experienced than me, ii) I was new and hadn’t yet worked closely with internal or external stakeholders, and; iii) the stakes were higher than I’d encountered (e.g. orgs reputation, beneficiaries livelihood, successive donor funding). I walk, talk and communicate like I know what’s happening most of the time. And even when I don’t know, I try my best to demonstrate the capacity to figure it out. If you don’t believe in yourself or aren’t able to confidently communicate your willingness to find answers, it’s very hard for others to believe in you or in what you are trying to get them to do. My first time managing others directly was no different:

1. I started first with a little ego-boost; i) reminding myself that the project was previously managed by someone my age and with comparable experience; and, ii) revisiting the positive feedback I’d already received about my work.

2. I then proceeded to introduce myself to stakeholders — a baseline to establish I am here, I am available, and I am ready to help. Although it took much more time and effort to build rapport, the friendliness and receptiveness of stakeholders was a strong affirmation that I was on track. It made it easier to fend off the awkwardness of managing my seniors.

3. Next, was understanding everything about the project and stakeholders e.g. research, reading project docs and reports, and most importantly making inquiries to the stakeholders involved. It was a great way to gain deeper context and demonstrate my willingness to engage players.

4. Lastly, was building a framework to execute deliverables, soliciting additional feedback, and regularly checking in with all parties for progress and areas of support needed.

When presented as above, the approach to managing a team seems pretty straightforward. However, the adjustments that had to happen; especially when things went wrong, were far from smooth. Over the 6 months that the project ran, there were a lot of moving pieces that resulted in major restructuring and severe delays… all of which I thought could have been avoided, and, weren’t my fault. It was very challenging to find a balance between my ego and what needed to be done. On one hand, I thought that poor communication and inability to meet deadlines equated to a lack of dependability and commitment on the part of stakeholders, and on the other hand I was still the person responsible for ensuring there was forward movement. How was it that I was failing not because I wasn’t doing the work, but because others weren’t delivering? It didn’t make sense to me. In my mind, once the roadmap was clear and agreed to, you delivered...simple, to the point, no coaxing or handholding needed. Just because there is a clear plan, doesn’t mean things go smoothly. It took me much longer to seek counsel, get fuller context, and gain a deeper appreciation for the complexity of the project and the very real resource constraints. From misaligned scopes of work to administrative backlog, to revised deliverables and financing holdups, each challenge required different retooling, but most importantly, a setting aside of self. That’s probably my biggest lesson from this particular management experience. It’s not about you and what you can deliver. It’s about your capacity to build an environment for the collective to succeed. The project was a humbling experience. It challenged me to stop working in a silo and navigate working better with others. If I could summarize my key takeaways, they’d be:

• Have A Finger On The Pulse: Know what is going on from all sides (ask, listen and observe)

• Manage Expectations: The policy of under-promising and over-delivering (consult your team, promise first what’s possible then do more)

• Sensitive Communication: Know what, when, how and to whom information needs to be relayed (keep it short, simple and in a closed group)

• Prepare For Multiple Outcomes: Knowing that things don’t always go to plan and ensuring there are alternative pathways that still allow you to deliver (plan for contingencies)

• Maintain Confidence: Focus on the goal, acknowledge progress achieved, encourage for more, and demonstrate willingness to help and support (keep the motivation up)

Photo credit (Akinyi Wavinya): A mini chachuterie board from Chez Sonia, Spring Valley Nairobi

Like many leaders who came before me, I was promoted to a management position without much of the training, grooming or support necessary to be effective. Much of what I learned came from falling fast, hard and painfully…there was no in-between. When there’s no playbook on how to manage, and/or if you’re not deliberate about your management journey (e.g building managerial skills through coaching, training, personal development etc) what you end up adopting usually comes from observations (your superiors), urgency (deliverable-bound timelines) and your attempts to make the best of what you can only assume. Regrettably, that first year of managing involved more latter.…instances where I was “pushed to the wall”, impatient, refused to delegate, or didn’t support or advocate for my team. Two disappointing instances come to mind that illustrate this;

1. A Case of Not Speaking Up & Overcompensating: We’d just hired 2 additional team members for a new department. I was involved in the recruitment process and feel a sense of ownership and success for having found great people to join. It’s also the first time I’ll have people reporting directly to me. The recruits are eager, have the right technical experience, and have shown a willingness to learn. We start on good terms - solid onboarding, weekly check-ins, team debriefs etc - but 1.5 months in and we’re second-guessing this hiring decision. The recruits are struggling to work independently, aren’t proactive in their problem-solving, and falling behind on major tasks. I try to step in and understand what I or they may need to do better, but can’t place my finger on it. I take heart in knowing I have time to resolve matters during the probation period and lean toward my manager for support. Conversely, I’m met with a lot of pressure to make what I think is a rash decision. I continue to receive an overload of inputs about what and what not to do, and find myself losing, leading inauthentically, and making decisions from a place of fear. I am doing what I am being told, but not what I feel and know is right. At the same time, I am emotionally invested in my team and want them to succeed...I think they just need more support and more time. I’m taking on additional tasks to cover up poor performance, working overtime, and overextending myself to ensure we don’t drop the ball. It’s shortsighted and short-lived. I feel like I’m holding the weight of the department and sinking fast. I don’t ask for help. I soldier on. It all comes back to bite me…they need to be let go, and I have to be the one that does it!

2. A Case of Chronic Fatigue: It was the height of COVID. So many startups and businesses were laying off, restructuring, or closing down altogether. Even though we aren’t downsizing and business has been slow, we’re pivoting at an alarming rate. This has meant more work for everyone, especially workers in our production facility (the only team still physically reporting to work). We’re educating all staff, observing COVID protocols to the best of our capacity, and continuing to provide additional incentives to workers (e.g. transport stipends)…but there’s rising dissatisfaction in the production facility. Workers are feeling stretched thin and tired. There are a lot of unknowns we have to take into consideration and are very hesitant to make any other major changes (e.g. hiring, salary increases etc) during the COVID period. We urge everyone to step up and help us buy time as we strive toward a steadier state. Workers are apprehensive of our plea but abide. We’re able to continue serving our customers, close, invoice and collect for several projects, and ensure payroll is steady. But at what cost? Open hours to check in and weekly team debriefs aren’t enough to keep workers informed and happy. Petty arguments break out, burnout continues, and the morale in the workshop continues to plummet. We’re making more mistakes and spending more time to complete projects. There are still so many unknowns. Workers continue to be distressed about the future as exhaustion continues to take over. Even though I’m spending every day at the workshop, and witness just how much the team needs rest, don’t see a clear way to pause without affecting business performance….we soldier on, but the business doesn’t make it and we have to shut down anyway.

Being responsible for others, needing to have all the answers, and being held accountable for their mistakes and failures isn’t a small ask. What’s even harder is feeling like you’ve let others down. Those early years were rough for all parties involved. I made a lot of mistakes, didn’t ask for help, and often felt like my hands were tied. I often felt detached, grovelled to connect, and didn’t know how to support myself without being asked directly. I often felt like a phoney. A manager by title instead of by practice. Mild cheddar masqueraded as Gouda. Afraid of failing, afraid of not being taken seriously, afraid of not being good enough.

I’d love to sit here and tell you glorious stories of how my management style has evolved since then. Of all the breakthrough moments and team wins. But I’m just getting started and have so much more to learn. Three years in, I continue to be humbled. I gained a steady realization of the difficulty and reward of it all and tried to exercise more openness in listening, understanding, and pointing the finger first at myself. Since my first management experience, I’ve had the opportunity to manage very different people and teams - some more self-reliant, some more demanding, and some more experienced. I’ve come to find that even though the needs of the team may vary based on several factors (e.g. experience, seniority, tech-savviness, proactivity, grit etc), 3 approaches in particular help build rapport, staying in the know-how and holding people accountable:

1. The 5Ws Approach to build rapport and momentum from the onset

• The Who, What & When: Determine who you are working with (role, behaviour, dependencies), what and they are working on (tasks, deliverables, circumstance) how they work (method, approach, tools), and why they work in the way that they do (limitations, gaps). Learning first through observation and shadowing is a great way to build empathy and also demonstrate your willingness to support in alleviating stressors.

• The Why: Once you’ve understood the gaps that exist (M&E from your observations and shadowing), you can then share your findings, solicit feedback, and establish the importance (impact) of adopting a new way of doing things (e.g. saving time, capacity, money)

• The How: Ascertain the best approach to getting what everyone wants e.g. soliciting feedback from all parties, leveraging existing systems and tweaking, opting for external support etc.

1. The Heart Beat Approach for staying informed and in the know-how

• 1-on-1s: Individually structured weekly meetings (ideally no longer than 30 mins) to review highlights, lowlights, tasks/ activities and to determine areas of support. It’s a great opportunity not only to check in professionally but personally too…remember your team is a product of what happens at home too. You don’t need to be someone’s therapist, but you do need to be aware, and sensitive, and provide support for them to do their best work. It doesn’t even have to be in the office, you can go for a walk or tea/coffee

• Team Stand ups Departmental meetings (ideally no longer than 15 mins) to review progress against milestones and areas of support. It’s a great way to ensure visibility into what everyone’s doing and an additional tool to keep people publicly accountable

• Socials: Planned and budgeted events outside of the office (ideally every month) that serve as an informal opportunity for you and the team to bond. Given how much time you’ll spend working together, it’s important to get comfortable with each other. Think of fun group activities you can do to get to know each other. It’s even more fun when individuals or teams are responsible for planning, not just the manager.

1. The Performance Approach for ensuring accountability and career progression

• Quarterly Reviews: Mix of self-evaluation, manager assessment, and peer feedback that is assessed quarterly. The outcomes of these reviews should be clear and explicitly detail actionable items for the employee and the manager. Action items should then be reviewed during the scheduled weekly meetings. It’s a bonus if the review is structured around company values!

• Annual Reviews: Culmination of the year that looks into what’s been accomplished, performance across the quarters, and improvements and provides clear standing and grounds for bonus, promotion, PIPs etc

• Employee Rewards: This can be a variety of different awards (monetary, certificate etc) throughout the year that are based on performance, company values etc., and determined through collective employee voter polls. Encourages individuals to take notice and acknowledge (shout outs) good work, and serves as an additional reward for employees to look forward to

I’m not a flawless manager. There is still so much I am learning about myself and even more about what it takes to excel in managing others. I’m getting better at actively listening, understanding needs, asking for help and building capacity. As I grow, I’m also shifting my mindset and treating my managerial responsibilities as a duty and not as an obligation. This means framing success and failures through the lens of “we”, creating more structure to learn, encourage, and support, communicating expectations clearly, and holding individuals and teams accountable. It also means carving out time to manage proactively and thinking of managing as an essential. Ultimately, it also means accepting that like all the varieties of cheese out there, my management style may not sit well with others, but that I still need to find effective ways to serve.

The risk of not leading effectively has grave consequences for those that follow. While the charcuterie board may be plated differently from place to place, I truly believe that we have a responsibility to not only inform but share better experiences for those who follow. Whether you’re new to the management game or seasoned, I hope that my failures and lessons serve as a reminder if not an example of how we can be more intentional from the onset and beyond.